There is work to be done. You have lived a solitary life for all of your days, and today is no different. In a big empty house or in a crowded room, you will always feel alone as long as you isolate your pain and keep it reverberating around your skull. It will breed sickness and ailments, stress and dissatisfaction, and you will always be discontent with everything you produce and achieve.
You have already achieved much in your life – have you looked back upon all of your accomplishments recently? What do they amass to? Your life is already filled with experiences and encounters that break down boundaries of space and time. You are a world traveler and you leave an impression on everyone you interact with. Just as you have impressions all over you from those interactions.
Don’t worry so much about the past and your failures. (In fact, just stop using that word. What dissatisfies you are only prototypes and exercises in the great struggle we call existence.) Your feats overshadow those dull and solemn memories, so just let them go already. There is much to build upon, and much more above you than you could ever imagine. Don’t worry about whether the world will love you or hate you. You will meet both adversity and challenges wherever you go.
You thrive in uncomfortable situations, and you shine as you surmount those obstacles. No one can define your potential or path, and you are your own worst critic. Remember the words of your loved ones in your darkest moments. “Wow.” “You are a beautiful person.” “You are amazing and wonderful.”
You have the power to speak both truth and compassion, and you are generous. Give yourself the room you need to extend that same truth, compassion and generosity to yourself. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and move on. There is no progression in stagnation. Don’t ruminate so much on the past; your lost loves and your paintings already completed. There is no reason to stop loving or painting. You can only get better with practice, so practice already! Keep up the good work, and remember who’s rooting for you.