Trying to Exist

by rebsnugs

An old friend reminded me recently of the urgency of existence
He brought to life words once spoken that bring him peace and comfort
that were once an anthem of frustration, aspirations

I respire and retreat into the flow of my breath and blood
Somewhere across the waters he rolls on in friendship and forgiveness
I still lead a life of chaos, a dance around commitments

I strive to focus my needs and desires so we are one
My body is my mind is my spirit is my breath is my blood
And I forgive and forget and remember and regret

The smiles of companions lost to me are pillars and milestones
I do not retrace my path to find them once again
Instead look bak over the valley of my life and admire the view

We have climbed so far, only to keep climbing
Hand over hand my fists grasp the roots above me
My eyes sqinting toward the ledge so close

What will I find at the top is more valleys
and a survey of all surrounding peaks yet to ascend and enjoy
I must embrace this struggle against gravity, wind and sun

Each step and rest brings me one step further from home
one step closer to death
one step only falters if my balance is not calculated and defined

I am poised, stretched, sturdy and strong.
I will and I breathe, for I am only trying to exist.


For P. 7-28-13